Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' February entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are mishit shots that turn into crossfield passes, players going to absurd lengths to convince a referee they got the ball in a tackle, when both sets of fans applaud a passage of play, full-backs refusing to readjust their shorts and montages that constantly remind you of a famous goal your team conceded. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if a player can have "genuine height" and if "potential banana skin" is appropriate for the Champions League knockout stages. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal updates from games everyone is watching anyway and some very relatable throw-in paranoia. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a 90s Irish footballer with a glorious name and question if two players can “swap goals” in a 1-1 draw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable thrill of a 50-50 challenge between players with the same shirt number, lumbering centre-backs who suddenly find themselves out on the wing, the unwritten laws of a referee playing advantage and teams not bothering to launch an attack in first-half injury time. Meanwhile, the Cliché pod announces its 2024 live tour, which visits Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin, Leeds, Bristol and London in February and March. Join the Adjudication Panel for the most gloriously pedantic night in football history: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It was all looking fairly good at half time, penalty horrorshow aside. It was looking like the Lion Ibrahimovic was sleeping tonight, with Doneil Henry as the Lion tamer. Then it all went horribly long, Vancouver Whitecaps looked a disorganised and dysfunctional mess, and another loss was handed out following another blank at home. We look back at the good, the bad, and the ugly from the loss to LA, hear from both head coaches, chat with Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and ponder where the 'Caps go from here. Plus we look at the weekend's action in the MLS West, talk CPL jerseys and football clichés, continue our 1979 NASL Soccer Bowl celebrations, find out if Scott Sutter fancies a chocolate digestive, and The Business are back again in this week's Wavelength. Here's the rundown for the main segments from the episode:03.21: Vancouver Whitecaps v LA Galaxy analysis29.45: Coaches audio - Marc Dos Santos and Guillermo Barros Schelotto36.39: More Whitecaps v Sounders chat44.35: Zlatan Ibrahimovic audio and discussion58.31: 1979 NASL Soccer Bowl celebrations continue64.13: Football clichés73.15: Anyone Fancy A Chocolate Digestive - Scott Sutter78.20: MLS West Week in Review89.23: Canadian Premier League jersey launch102.36: Wavelength - The Business - Hardcore Hooligan [Explicit Lyrics]106.29: BC Soccerweb Headlines - football news from around the world including the continuing Whitecaps women's team abuse scandal